I know when he's been on your mind..
That distant look is in your eyes..
I thought with time you'd realize it's over, over..
It's not the way I choose to live..
And something somewhere's gotta give..
A share in this relationship gets older, older..
You know I'd fight for you but how could I fight somone who isn't even there..?


posted - 11/26/2009 11:07:00 PM



Time really flies..
So much things have happen to me..
Not to say that there's always other people that is more "happening"

Looking back at all the posts that i wrote abt her..
Including those inside this blog..
I always had so many thoughts and opinions..
All of the posts seems to make others think that i am very sad and will commit suicide anytime soon..well..Sad is the truth..But suicide is abit too much..

Sometimes i only got myself to blame..
Clinging onto the little hopes of mine..Ignoring all the reality that is infront of me..
There's so many facts i chose to ignore..
Why?To put it nicely cos i dun like giving up..To put it badly its becos im just plain thickskin and stubborn..
I know im not any mr. gentlemen, mr. nice or mr handsome..Not any fantastic guy that girls would fall for..
So its easy for me to see the reality..or shld i say, my reality..

Its been months since i have been habouring these thoughts..
And i came to a conclusion months ago..
But i chose to have all my thoughts wrapped up and try to say it all in here..
In short, i chose to give up months ago..
Im not implying that she's been a torture to me or so..
But after letting go or putting dwn tis "burden" of mine, i felt realli better..
I got my smiles back, i crap as usual, but still as lonely =X
Im being straightforward and honest here..
Initially, before so much things had happened, i thought there's a chance or hope for me..so there's a "future" in a sense..
But looking at what's happening in the last few months, the reality, its so different and i believed that's not the exact "future" i seek..

But i still thank her for the happy moments she gave me..
At least there's always some happy moments behind the stormy weathers..
So now still back to the same old me..Leading a life that i didnt seek but its the govt that gave me such a life..

Will be goin to bedok camp..New unit..3rd Guards Batt..
Training to be a Guards Recce Specialist..
Its been a wonderful experience for me during these 5 months..
Specially my friends that always crap with me in bunk and outside..
Never fail to bring laughter and smile among ourselves (*Jun wei, Xing Kai n Jerold)..
And always got my good friend zul accompany me go kai kai..
Oh yar, xie xie vi-vi jie for saturday..
Its been a great day out with you..Helping me change my default expression..I tink at least 95% i was using other expressions other than my default one sia..That's a compliment u know..hahax..
And also helping me in making my right arm look bigger.. :)
Good luck for your test tml!Jiayou!

But ohhhhhhhh~~~~~~~~~
Tml is book in day for me..
Sian day tml..1/2 sian tonight..
"ZzZz" monster is attacking me le..
Gotta go rest and wake up early tml..hmmm..

posted - 11/22/2009 10:50:00 PM

屋内的湿气像储存爱你的记忆
真希望 雨能下不停..

posted - 11/20/2009 10:30:00 AM



Finishing my BSLC soon..left 1 more week to the end of course..
Don't know where i will be posted to..

1. Guards Recce?
2. Airforce School?
3. Signals?
4. Armour?
5. Artillery?
6. Combat Medic?
7. Military Police?
8. Military Intelligence?
9. ASLC at pasir laba (infantry or guards)?

I seriously wished i am posted to airforce school..But only 0.1% will go airforce school..damn
Have been slacking during my weekends..
Watching movies and window shopping around..
Clubbing..
Nothing much to do..At least better then goin back to camp =S

Have been in deep thoughts in the recent weeks..
Don't know when i started it but have been tinking here and there..
Starts to understand and come to terms with certain things..Especially relationships..
Start to tink about what is the nxt step i shld take..What i want and what i shld do..
I made up my mind..and i believe that's better for me..and for her maybe..


posted - 11/08/2009 06:17:00 PM

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you're hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile and my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone

I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?

posted - 9/16/2009 10:08:00 AM

Not wrong, and not right..
Or is it more to the wrong?

But what is wrong what is right?

posted - 9/11/2009 01:09:00 PM

Q: Its just a short bus trip in the morning, etc..

ME: Yes..But i want to do it cos you'll never know what happens later or tomorrow..
I experience it before, so who knows there will never be another trip together with you again?
What had been planned ahead might not mean it will be happening according to plan..Sometimes that plan might be discarded becos of some reasons..This has always been happening..
So I cherish every opportunity that comes my way..
To you it may be jus a short trip..But to me, its just more than a short trip..


posted - 9/11/2009 10:05:00 AM

". . . . . . .", I've been telling myself that many times..

posted - 9/06/2009 10:29:00 AM